Hold on to patience

After Hong Kong (and Harry Potter, one might add, with a tear or two), my life seems to changed in the smallest of ways.

I’d like to think that the boyfriend and I are not terribly rah-rah and we have, more or less, settled back into our normal lives after the whole proposal thing. But there are little differences in how we look at each other and view the world. We observe the people around us and vow not to make the same mistakes as they did in their marriages, we are more mindful of how we spend our hard-earned money and sometimes, I catch him rubbing my ring finger when we are hand in hand, as if wondering where the ring had gone.

There are so many reasons as to why I love him but I think the most beautiful reason is not for us to know but for the unseen hands that brought us together to savour and relish.

……….
How long is the road

How long is the ride

How long is the darkness till we get to the light

Go easy on me

Cause you already know

No matter the distance I’ll stay on the road to your heart

Lately, I have been putting Corrinne May’s debut album, “Fly Away” on repeat mode.

I love her sophomore effort, I really do, but I think “Fly Away” tugs at my heartstrings more so than “Safe in a Crazy World“. Perhaps it’s because “Fly Away” had kept me company during the darkest moments of my life, when I would lie in bed in the silence of the night while her warm and comforting voice took me back to those days, those moments, those memories.

Four years later, things have changed and I am no longer that girl with shards of glass caught in her heart. I no longer cry in my bed for what I could not prevent. But her songs remain as beautiful as they were in my memories and there are others around me who are struggling to pick up the remnants of their lives and move on again, like I did.

Walk away, I want to tell them, you’re worth more than he’ll ever realize/Baby, walk away/Spare yourself this pain/Can’t you see that he’s not worth it?

Some of us get over pain quicker than others but no matter what, we have to come to the realization that even as we mourn, the world continues revolving and life does not stop for us. Taking steps forward may mean uncertain future but it also signifies courage and strength. We may falter but with each step we take, we become stronger.

And if you should ever fall, I will be there to hold your hand and pull you up again.

Yes, he finally proposed

We got a call from the jeweller’s today who said that it is virtually impossible to resize the ring down by four sizes (I’m a 4, the smallest size they had was an 8). They are going to custom make a ring for me in my size but it’s going to take about three months.

How cool is that?

We like to do things in reverse order.

First, we date for almost seven years (okay, so this is not a reversal). And then, we decide to buy a flat. But unlike most Singaporean girls who make do with ’shall we buy a flat’, I am not letting him get away with that because this is the one and only proposal in my life and damn if I should get a crappy one.

Because the flat is ready by end 2008, it means we need to be wed by then. So begins the wedding preparations, as typical kiasu Singaporeans always plan at least a year ahead. But, still no sign of the anticipated proposal.

For the next seven months after we had signed our monies away, I started my campaign. Whenever we walk past a jewellery shop, I would look at him hopefully and say ‘blingggg’. He would either pretend to be attracted by the Toys R Us nearby or burst out laughing to mask his speechlessness. Not good.

I got bored of that after a while and decided to try a different tack ‘ sending him pictures of the rings that I fancied. One particular favourite of mine, available locally, was a Mauboussin vintage-esque ring.

Our anniversary, birthdays, Valentine’s Day all came and went with no proposal. Why these dates? Because this man (I know him very well) would pick significant dates for something as big as a proposal so that he won’t have problems remembering it in future!

In June, he started dropping hints about diamonds: Destinee from Lee Hwa, Celestial from Goldheart etc. But with no significant dates coming up anytime soon except for our December 31/January 1 anniversary, I wasn’t expecting much.

Last week, I popped over to Hong Kong for a business trip and he joined me for the weekend after. There we were, overlooking the bright lights of the city at The Peak after a tedious journey up and enjoying each other’s company when he suddenly started murmuring into my ear: ‘I have a surprise for you.’

Before I knew it, he had slipped the ring onto my finger and asked me to marry him. It was the very Mauboussin ring I had fancied, hurrah!

I shed a tear or two, we hugged and kissed happily, and then he said, ‘Eh, wait, you haven’t said yes. Give back.’

Give back?? Not in a million years, dude. It’s mine now!

And I said maybe, we’ll see.

So here I am, looking through videos that make me tear and playing Pachelbel’s Canon on repeat mode. Very soppy, am starting to feel like Becky Bloomwood. Yay.